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The Unity Candle Tradition
The Unity Candle started playing a part at weddings in the early 1990's and has become a popular and accepted part of the wedding ceremony. The Unity Candle and the remembrance candle traditions have also become a familiar part of today's wedding celebrations.
With the Unity Candle Tradition, the Bride and Groom use two lit taper candles (symbolizing their individuality) to light one big candle, as a symbol of their two lives joined together and shared.
The Unity Candle ceremony can basically be performed anywhere at your ceremony site. If your ceremony site is scheduled to be outside, there will be the potential for many challenges associated with lighting the unity candles and keeping them lit. The weather will be the largest factor to consider and other factors like the landscape, terrain and decorations will come into play as well.
A new method of the unity tradition has evolved and it involves sand and three clear containers. It's called the unity sand pouring ceremony and it is a beautiful way to illustrate the joining of two lives and families. When you use more than one color of sand, the end result is a remarkable display of perfectly transformed lives. One of the advantages of using the sand pouring ceremony is that you do not have to deal with the issues of fire at your ceremony. This advantage is especially desired if you are having your ceremony on the beach or just outside.

A common tradition for lighting the candles:
During the processional, the mothers or grandmothers of the bride and groom are escorted to light a taper candle that represents their child; the light represents the life that the mothers gave the child. The Mothers are then escorted to their appropriate seats. Because of certain circumstances, sometimes the individual tapers are lit before the processional begins.
Where the portion of the ceremony that is dedicated to the lighting of unity candle is placed, is basically up to the couple. The most common time to light the unity candle is after the vows and rings have been exchanged and the majority of officiates prefer this timeline. In order for the transition and movement to flow smoothly, it is appropriate for the minister to explain to the guests the symbolism of the Unity Candle.
Traditionally at the same time the couple lights the Unity Candle, a song will be sung or played, or the minister will deliver a poem or portion of scripture that appropriately illustrates the symbolism of the action.

One poem, by Harold Douglas, that is frequently delivered during the lighting of the unity candle is as follows:

"Soft mists embrace two golden flames,
Alone they search the night.
Two souls adrift in dreams of love,
They seek to claim the light.
The path is long from which they came,
But sure they are it's right.
Two flames embrace in dreams of love,
Two Souls - Two Hearts Unite."

To extinguish the individual taper or not to extinguish?
Extinguishing the flame on the tapers, that represent the bride and groom individually, is a point of debate between many different professionals and officiates. Some have valid reasons for leaving the taper lit and some have valid points for extinguishing them. The final decision is left up to the couple.

Two different views on this matter
1. The lighting of the single taper candle is a symbol representing two individuals, and when lighting the middle candle together they agree to the symbolic joining as one. Extinguishing the single tapers after lighting the unity candle, demonstrates their intentions to redirect their individual needs to the more important needs of their marriage or union.
2. For the couples that decide not to extinguish the single tapers, the emphasis is focused on retaining their individuality. Having all three candles continue to stay lit is symbolic of the marriage union and of each person’s individuality inside that union.

Couples who are bringing children into the marriage, may choose to have additional tapers representing the children, who can join in the lighting of the Unity Candle.
As with most of the symbolic elements in the wedding ceremony, the Unity Candle is kept by the couple and may be relit on special occasions, such as their wedding anniversary.

Remembrance Candles
The remembrance candle tradition consists of lighting a special candle to symbolize the presence of someone that has a special place in your life and heart. This person is not able to attend your ceremony because they have passed away or maybe they are not capable of attending because of health reasons. Either way, the remembrance candle just represents their presence.